« In Which I Get On My High Horse | Home | In Which I Am Much Vexed By Snogging Pensioners »
In Which I Have A Little Plan
April 7, 2008 by Mike
El Campello
Route: Cartagena - La Manga - Torrevieja - Santa Pola - Alicante - El Campello
<RANT>
Out of the city and as far away from that brothel-cum-pension as possible. I had a lousy night's sleep caused by the crack-whore in the next flea-pit room falling asleep with her television ON FULL VOLUME playing game-shows all night. I managed to wake her once asking (*politely*) to turn it down.. or even off, seeing as it was by now nearly four in the morning.. but my words didn't register and she slammed the door shut, LOUDLY, before starting to snore again.
</RANT>
--
La Manga is a resort town a few miles east of Cartagena. It specialises in sports and fitness, but it's best known in the UK.. well, to ex-football journalists, anyway.. as a mid-season retreat for Premiership footballers.
When you read about footballers lighting cigars with £50 notes while snorting cocaine off the stomachs of glamour models and simultaneously spit-roasting a part-time cocktail waitress with half-a-dozen team-mates.. it's usually a tale about La Manga. (Here and here - see?)
Disappointingly -- and I'd promised the boys at Soccernet the exclusive -- I passed La Manga without seeing a single footballer. Not even playing golf. Not even Stan Colleymore, fergoodnesssake. The only roasting is caused by the sun.
A big Hello to the man in the 4×4 who I chatted to at every traffic light down the La Manga highway. (He'd seen the bike last weekend in Cabo de Gata and was happily surprised to see me in his home town*.) If you see this, please email the photo you took as we were driving along**.. I'd love to add it to this page!
* The last time this happened was in Lithuainia
** and the last time this happened was, a couple of days later, in Kaliningrad!
--
I've got a little plan for La Manga.
When I win the National Lottery, and can indulge my every whim and desire, I'm going to spend some time there getting into shape: tennis in the morning, maybe a bicycle ride in the afternoon, a work-out with my personal trainer followed by lettuce and boiled fish in the evening. After all, who wants to be a fat, unfit millionaire?
Clearly I'd have to stay in an apartment or house suitable to my new station in life.. so I was disappointed to see there was nowhere suitable for me, the new millionaire, anywhere in La Manga. A few large, modernist houses at the tip of the peninsula, but frankly they were all a little nouveau riche;-)
Which got me thinking, as I rode north. The other thing I'll do with my millions is buy a Harley for the besidetheseaside trip around North America that comes after I finish this one. Just as I couldn't imagine riding anything but a Triumph here, in the States it would have to be a Harley.
But as a millionaire, I wouldn't be camping. Oh no. Pull into town and check in to the first (or biggest) hotel every night. So I'd need minimal baggage.. a t-shirt or two.. but I can always buy new each morning so no need to pack TravelWash.. some decent 501s.. space for the after-shave and some decent shoes, somewhere secure for the mobile, well, the Blackberry.. and the credit cards.. oh, and maybe some more shoes...
... and so it goes. By the time I've designed the luggage, racks and panniers.. nothing flashy, maybe just a hint of gold.. or platinum.. and acquired the honed, toned, tanned millionaire's body to boot.. in my dreams.. I'm pulling up at the campsite in El Campello.
One more night in the tent, on a rock-hard pitch, with cold-water showers, no loo-roll (or loo seats), eating Mike's pasta cooked on the little camping stove and washed down with 55cent-a-litre house red.. before I settle in to my new lifestyle.
Comments
Leave your comment
Latest comments
- By robert and peter in Diary
- By Wayne in Diary
- By Boris in Diary
- By Sandy from Leeds in Diary
- By Sascha in Diary
- By clive marie goldwing in Diary
- By carlos pascual in Diary
- By Erkut Dora in Diary
- By david gwilliam in Diary
- By Nick in Diary
- By Mike Bowyer in Diary
- By Dick With in Diary
- By Gordon in Diary
- By KC in Diary
- By steve in Diary
- By Mike in Diary
- By Sascha in Diary
- By P Dawson in Diary
- By Mike in Diary
- By Helen in Diary
- By Mike in Diary
- By KC in Diary
- By Sergiu in Diary